InsaneJournal

Current mood:

calm

Fic-03: Saying Goodbye
Title: Saying Goodbye
Rating: PG13 to R (for possible language and violence)
Characters: Felix Birkin, Faris Birkin, Shaun Raven Burnside, Steve Burnside, Albert Wesker, William Birkin, and Sherry Birkin
Pairnings: (hinted) WeskerxSteve, WeskerxBirkin, WilliamxSteve
Summery: The reason why William leaves with Faris and not Felix.
Authors note: I do not own Resident Evil, they belong to Capcom. I do however take credit for this idea, since I came up with it. Felix belongs to Meladi (ms_melah). Shaun belongs to Adrianna (broken_eternity). Faris belongs to me.


Please explain a couple of things to me
How could you leave and then turn your back on me?
If only we said goodbye, maybe then I would respect my life
In the end I am so ashamed of what you did

(why) you said that you would never leave I didn't even see you go
(why) you just up and turned your back on me for reasons I will never know
(why) now I am starring at an empty space its the place that you used to be
(why) and the look you see upon my face is the gift from you to me

A haunting pain that lingers over me
This is not the way its supposed to be
If only we said goodbye, maybe then I would respect my life
In the end and I'm so ashamed of what you did

(why) you said that you would never leave I didn't even see you go
(why) you just up and turned your back on me for reasons I will never know
(why) now I am starring at an empty space its the place that you used to be
(why) and the look you see upon my face is the gift from you to me

You made me what I am
You made me what I am
You made me what I am
You made me what I am

(why) you said that you would never leave I didn't even see you go
(why) you just up and turned your back on me for reasons I will never know
(why) now I am starring at an empty space its the place that you used to be
(why) and the look you see upon my face

Is the gift from you to me
Is the gift from you to me



Blue eyes shot open, staring down at the little faces sleeping peacefully. Messy red hair poked out from under the heavy covers. Little fingers curled into his old shirt, on either side of him, little bodies lie warmly. A smile krept upon the mans face, as he glanced down adoringly upon his children. Reaching down, he untangles himself from the mess that was his bed, careful not to wake the tiny little red heads. Which he knew wouldn't work for long. The would both be up and be bundles of energy within the hour. They always were.

He glanced out the window as fingers ran through his hair, his own hand. It was almost a lonely feeling, to not have someone right next to him. He felt this especially when he noted the snow clinging to the window seal. He sat down at his desk, peering out, almost thoughtfully. Memories flooded into his mind. Ones that made him smile.

Two young men walked down the snowy streets, their breath lingering in the air. One throws a snowball and the other gets hit, laughing, their little war commences. They seem to be out there for hours, until the smaller finally falls, breathless. The other, much taller, lies next to him, smiling cheekily, obviously the winner. They both stare up into the grey sky, letting the snowflakes gently touch their faces. The breath still lingers, giving off an ethereal feeling.

"I Love you." The smaller blonde whispers.

"I love you too." The other responds.

The blonde was slowly dragged out of his memories by a light tugging on his shirt. He glances down and smiles even though his heart aches. A little girl, no older than four stares back at him, a confused look on her face. Strong arms lift her up and sit her down on his lap, a light laugh filling the room. Little fingers lightly run across the window, creating crude little drawings. The man does the same, never an artist himself, so one could barely tell the difference between the two. She laughs shrilly, her whole body shaking with the high pitched noise.

"Daddy, you suck." she giggled, and he smiled wider.

"Guess you got my art style then huh?" He replied, tickling her sides lightly. She laughed hard, squirming in his grasp. He stopped when he saw the other child walk over to where they were, rubbing his blue eyes. He smiled, although a bit awkwardly at the other two. Reaching up, his awkward smile growing wider.

"Up! Daddy, up, up!" He said happily. The blonde, freckled man, lifted him to sit on his lap too. One child on each knee. He watched as his two children commenced drawing, his son obviously worse off than his daughter. The two squabbled, the man felt that sadness well up deep within his chest.

"Daddy?" The little girl asked, looking confused again.

"Dad's got water eyes." The boy commented, wiping some of the red locks out of his face. The man touched his face, and indeed, there was water there, tears streaking down his face.

"Daddies ok. Why don't you run down to the kitchen and get ready for breakfast?" he said, lifting them both up and setting them on the ground.

"Ok!" They both said in unison before the scurried off out of the room.

"What happened to us...?" He whispered to the coldness of the room. A flash or red hair ran through his mind.

Steve...

A shiver ran up his spine. Anger boiling in his veins. He slowly started down the stairs, he stopped at the kitchen, watching as Sherry made the twins breakfast. Before any of them could see him, he made his way to the laboratory. He just wanted to escape sometimes, even if he did love his children to death. No one ever stopped him, even though it had become an almost unhealthy routine. Unheathly was probably an understatement. Sometimes no one would see him for weeks.

I just don't want to be around them. Those two. Steve is always flaunting. Maybe Albert does like him more then me.

The day passed, and the tyrant slowly wandered upstairs. The first thing that hit his ears was crying. Heart skipped beats, and legs pumped into action. Finding the source of the crying, he saw the little boy, sitting in the corner, his arm bleeding. He pulled the boy into an embrace, holding him close. This seemed to happen a lot. The boy being hurt, no one anywhere to be found. Sherry had college, and Albert was generally a very busy man, which always left Steve.

"Shh... daddies here. Who was watching you baby?" he asked, coddling the boy lovingly.

"Mommy." He replied innocently, not realizing that Steve was no where in sight. The mans fury clenched in his chest. He took the boy to get him cleaned up, even though he knew the wound would heal quickly. After laying him down for a nap he returned to the area, finding one of the mission knifes lying on the ground. The boy was lucky he didn't hurt himself more.

Maybe this isn't the right enviroment to raise kids. Albert just wants them to be warriors, but, they're family, our people, our children. They shouldn't have to take on the wars of their fathers. What would I do if one of them died for our lost cause? Umbrella is gone. We have no protection. What would I do if I found one of their bodies, bleeding out, so tiny and frail. Sometimes I wonder, if Albert is truly cold hearted. I wasn't the greatest of fathers, but I want to change things. I might have no choice. I might just have to take them both and run for it.

"What're you doing boxcar?" the voice rang through the air, causing the hair on his back to stand on end. Whirrling around, he met face to face with the canadian.

"Where were you?" The smaller tyrant snapped.

"Watchin' the tube, why?" He asked, a smile gracing his face.

"You should be watching your children! I found OUR son hurt quite badly, and it's not the first time!" The blonde man shouted, feeling the need to punch the other, right where he was smiling. The smile fell off of his face, and he narrowed his eyes dangerously.

"Well you could try to be around more. They need their father too. Do you know how hard it is to watch thre kids? THREE! Not one, not two, THREE!" Steve shouted back. Taken aback, the blonde backed away, his gaze hitting the floor. The anger directing at himself as well.

"Steve... it's not that I don't want to be here." He paused, Except it is.

"I'm busy, you know that."

"You could still try to spend more time with YOUR kids." Steve replied, angrily.

"I'll try, but when I'm not around try to make sure things like this don't happen. Faris might think you hate him." The blonde responded quietly, turning to walk away.

"Whatever." Steve said testily, "Maybe you should quit blaming me for the things that happen to him. Things happen, I know they do, but maybe if he didn't get into everything he'd be fine. The other two don't get into this shit. Even then, they're always asking for you. Sometimes I think they even like you more, god knows why."

"What the fuck does that mean, Steve? They're you're kids too. You also decided to sign up on this project, not just me. As I said before, you should be watching them, so it doesn't matter if they get into things, you should be making sure they aren't getting into anything that is potentially dangerous."

"That's right, all you care about is the project." Steve snapped, tears starting to come to his eyes.

"If that's what you want to think then fine. I don't want to fight with you."

"So you're admitting it. Wasn't messing up Sherry's life enough for you?"

"Don't bring Sherry into this!"

"You're just going to repeat history. They might not ever forgive you later on in life. Then what? Will you grow a heart then? How many people do you have to hurt!"

A punch. Right into the redheads face. All he could see was blood. All he wanted to see was blood. At least to get the man to fall to his knees and quit talking. He didn't want to hear his voice or his words. His infuriating words that struck so deep. Rip him apart, his mind told him over and over. Then the water fell down his own face again, mixing with the others angry tears. Then hands grabbed him from behind and he heards fearful words, but he couldn't listen. Not now. He threw his fist back, connecting with soft flesh, followed by the crack of something hitting the wall. A little body hitting his view, sliding down the wall. Heart clenching again, fear running through his veins as he left the redhead and rushed to the body.

"Felix..." he whispered, "I'm so sorry. So sorry. Felix?"

"What have you done?" Steve shouted angrily.

"Are you stupid?!"

"Daddy..." The little girl flinched from his touch, tears in her red eyes, streaking down her bloodied face.

"Baby... I'm so sorry."

"It hurts, don't touch me." She pleaded, fear flashing through those intelligant eyes.

He backed away, and Steve rushed foreward gathering her up. She glanced up at her father, distrust burning in her brilliant orbs. He disapeared, leaving Steve to deal with their daughter. He was still angry, but now with himself more then anyone. No one seemed to want to be around him in the next few weeks. Not Wesker. Not Steve. Not Felix. Not Sherry. Faris did. Faris was always at his side. Poppas son. Felix never strayed from Steve's side. The blonde always seemed to be harrased, and it didn't help with his earlier depression. He didn't sleep, and would either eat out or go without food.

I need to leave. I need to get out of here. They don't want me here, nor do they need me here. I'm just a bother, and all I can ever do is hurt people. Maybe I should just start over without the distractions of the laboratory. I can always come back someday as a better man.

With his mind made up, he slowly walked down the hall and entered his daughters room. If she didn;t want to come with him, he could at least say goodbye. He sat near her bed, but not too close. She shifted, and he knew she was watching him fearfully, expecting him to hit her again.

"Felix, I'm really sorry." It was the first thing that came to mind so he said it, but she stayed quiet. He wondered if she would scream, or call for Steve.

"Felix. Daddies going to leave. Daddy wanted to know if Jadyn wanted to go with him, or stay here with mommy."

He heard her crying. She still didn't trust him. It was his fault, if only he hadn't let his anger get so out of hand. Maybe things would be different right now. Maybe she wouldn't be crying. Instead wanting to be held like usual. Maybe he'd wake up with her in his bed again, clinging to him in her sleep. He sighed and slowly reached out, only to watch her flinch away again.

"I'm sorry." He pulled his hand away.

"I want mommy." She sobbed, not understanding what her father was talking about.

He got up, looking down at her. Tears fell down his own freckled face as he turned and started walking. She watched him go, not realizing this was goodbye. He reached the door, glancing back for a brief moment and then he was gone. Days went by, with no sign of her father or her twin. She never felt so alone. She eventually started waiting for him to return. Sitting on the front steps of the old building. Years went by, and eventually she stopped waiting. Her heart colder and harder. She watched her mother and Albert Wesker fight all the time. Sometimes her father would be brought up. She knew he blamed Steve. She blamed herself. She was the last person to see him after all.

"I hate you daddy." She whispered, wiping her tear filled eyes. "I'll find you someday, and I'll let you know what you did to me. I hope you regret everything."

She walked inside, letting herself watch the freezing snow from the inside of the building. She touched the window of her room, the tears falling freely now.

"I'll become better and more needed then you ever were." she whispered as she drew on the window.

"Felix. Come on, it's time for school." She heard someone say from behind her, a smile graced her face as she wiped the tears away for the last time.

"Coming Shaun." she said lightly. He turned and left, and she watched the window again.

"I'll never cry over you again." She said to the room as she walked to the door. "This is my goodbye."

Then she was gone. The pain stayed, but she kept her promise. She never cried over the man she knew as father ever again. The scientist. William Birkin.